Family kicks out 18-years-old foster kid, claiming ‘fostering is a business’ and that they can't afford to support him anymore: ‘They told me it’s not personal'

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 30, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

Some parents are born to become foster parents to kids in need of a home. They know exactly how to ensure the foster kid feels comfortable and at home, they know how to get them to open up, and how to welcome them with open arms. It is an honest gift, and those parents truly deserve an award for all the hard work and love they put in. 

Then there are some parents, who should not be parents in the first place, let alone be foster parents. People whose motives are completely wrong, as they would do anything to get what they are after, no matter who they hurt in the process.

The "parents" in this Reddit story are an example of why some people should not be allowed to foster. During the 9 years they were fostering their kid (OP, original poster), they always made sure that he felt like he was part of their family. He even called them Mom and Dad. Then, once OP turned 18, they suddenly told him that they couldn't afford to support him anymore, and demanded he clear out his room in a week, clearly showing they were only interested in the money they were getting from the fostering…

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  • 01
    My foster family of 11 years is kicking me out by the end of the week. I have no where to go and I feel broken.
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 02
    I (18M) was told earlier today that I need to pack up and leave by the end of the week. I still feel in shock. I was removed from my biological family when I was 7
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 03
    due to issues with my parents, I was then placed in foster care and then matched with a couple who I will call the 'Peters' (it's not their real name, no matter how much I actually want to blast their
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 04
    real info I won't). The Peters were always really nice to me, and since I moved in when I was pretty young after a while I started to consider them my parents. I called them 'mum'
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 05
    and 'dad'. Treated them as my parents, treated their biological son as my brother. I wasn't their only foster child, they also have a 9 year old boy who has lived with us for
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 06
    a little over a year. I was never adopted by them, I know why because they live off the fostering allowance. Something that never really bothered me, they told me
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 07
    that it didn't matter and that legality didn't make us a family. Which I believed. I went on their agency website earlier today and I found out that they are getting paid at
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 08
    least £2400 for me per month. Or at least they were. Since I turned 18 they stopped getting the allowance. However they applied for a staying put arrangement for
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 09
    me, which meant they would continue getting paid something as they continue to support me and let me live with them. It wasn't as much, I think it was like £1000 per month. They told me they had
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 10
    it approved until I was 21, so I thought I'd be able to stay at least until I finished Uni. They sat me down today and told me I had to leave. They told me that fostering is a
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 11
    business and that they couldn't afford to keep me on just the stay put arrangement allowance. They told me I had until the end of the week. 4 days. How generous of them.
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 12
    They said they need my room because they want to get a new foster placement. They literally told me it's 'not. personal'. Like that makes me feel any better. They
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 13
    said they would still consider me 'like a son', not 'their son' anymore. 'Like a son' And that they want to 'keep in touch'. What a joke. They choose to kick me out. An 18 year old with no job. No
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 14
    income. No nothing. About to start university. Yet their bio- son who is 25 gets to stay? So yeah. I guess me right? I'm just the one no one ever wanted. I guess I wasn't ever truly part of their family.
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 15
    Accomplished-Emu-591. 12 hr. ago I am sorry for your situation. However, you should contact the agency that was paying them, tell them what they did, and ask for referrals to other organizations that can
    via u/Accomplished-Emu-591
  • 16
    provide you assistance with finding employment and attending uni. It is even possible that your report of their behavior would make them ineligible for further paid foster placement. Not likely, but possible.
    via u/Accomplished-Emu-591
  • 17
    Candid-Spot-5015 OP 11 hr. ago Thank you, I tried contacting my former social worker earlier and will try again tomorrow. I know there are things out there that can help me, I don't entirely know what but I'm hoping they will be able to get me a place to sleep.
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 18
    If I can't get in contact with my social worker I will try go into citizens advice and try and get them to help me, someone else suggested that and it seems like a good idea.
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 19
    albatross6232 . 11 hr. ago Keep calling. Case workers can get really busy but the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Also, this won't be the first time the case worker has seen someone booted out at 18 so they will likely have
    via u/albatross6232
  • 20
    something prepared to give you that can help you out in relation to what services you are eligible for and how to apply for them. Good luck. Sorry your foster people turned out to be
    via u/albatross6232
  • 21
    NoAddress1159 · 12 hr. ago I've heard of this happening before. It's truly heartbreaking. I'm so sorry OP.
    via u/NoAddress1159
  • 22
    BabserellaWT. 12 hr. ago fostering is a business These people are monsters.
    via u/BabserellaWT
  • 23
    MouseAndLadybug 12 hr. ago I'm so sorry this is happening to you, these are garbage people. I'd be reporting them for fraud, they can't accept money to have you stay there if you aren't.
    via u/MouseAndLadybug
  • 24
    Candid-Spot-5015 OP 12 hr. ago They'll probably cancel the staying put arrangement all together, so I don't think they'll continue to be paid for me after I leave. Though that is something I am 100% be checking in a few weeks.
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 25
    BeautiFull_DisAstEr 12 hr. ago Make sure you let the foster place know your being kicked out so they don't get any benefits from that
    via u/BeautiFull_DisAstEr
  • 26
    PoeBoyFromPoeFamily 12 hr. ago They're doing it for the money. That is why. It's unfortunate and they sound horrid. I'm sorry, OP. I hope it all works out for you. Leaving will sk, but at least you won't be surrounded by greedy leeches.
    via u/PoeBoyFromPoeFamily
  • 27
    Candid-Spot-5015 OP 11 hr. ago I thought they were my family. I'm genuinely considering going NC with them after I'm set up whatever I'll end up next week.
    via u/Candid-Spot-5015
  • 28
    • kucky94 11 hr. ago You absolutley should. You were 7 when you went into their care. They denied you the opportunity to find a real family who love you for you and not the $$ you brought in. deserve better. them. You
    via u/kucky94

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family drama adoption drama kids mother foster wife reddit story parenting adopted husband family Reddit money Parenting Fail fostering parents children Father
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